The truth of my turning the big 3–0 has launched me into an arbitrarily imposed and self-induced state of frenzied financial panic.

This time last year I would have been reluctant to even so much as glance at my visa statement or checking account because 1. I had much more saved and felt a false sense of security 2. I was (still am, but working on it) very irresponsible. My attitude towards personal finance has always been cavalier, to an almost excessive degree. If I’m being completely honest (which I am committed to doing here, on my blog, at least) the reality is that most of my non-interest in anything personal-finance related is clearly just an avoidance technique for not wanting to deal with where I am in life, financially and chronologically speaking. Astrologically speaking, I’m fucked.

If you’ve read Catch 22, or haven’t read it but understand the paradox, it’s here: I avoid dealing with my finances because I find my financial situation embarrassing, but I find my financial situation embarrassing because I have avoided dealing with my finances (this is not an idiosyncrasy, people do this all the time.) Here’s a couple examples of basic things I avoid doing (which I assume other well-adjusted, competent adults have been doing consistently, and for a long while):

1. Going over bank statements and monitoring charges on a regular if not daily basis.

2. Creating a budget.

3. Tracking spending/earnings.

4. Investing in very secure stocks or some other means of passive income.

This all might seem like no-brainer advice. But did my smug attitude result in any real, behavioural change? No, it didn’t. Obvious or not—I’m an idiot. My finances were as cryptic as a contemporary art museum, or a David Lynch movie. None of it made any fucking sense. As I mentioned in the title of this post—I’m almost 30. I’m sure there are others that can relate, but I’m not where I thought I’d be at this point in my life. I’m also not going to get there unless I start to make some serious changes.

Whichever way you got to my page, and for whatever reason, I’m glad you are here. Stick with me as I try to get a grip, and hopefully get my shit together in 2022. I will keep you posted along the way.